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April 4, 2020

Using Shopping as a Coping Mechanism for Stress

And how to survive buyer’s remorse.

In times of intense uncertainty most of us experience heightened emotions and deal with them as best we can. As we are navigating the uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic, many people are inundated with feelings of panic, extreme stress and anxiety about their health, finances and emotional stability. We all cope with the distress by engaging in behaviors with the underlying hope to feel “normal.”

Despite the tumultuous circumstances, some of us find shopping for nonessential items fills the need to feel like everything is “normal.” It takes us back to a simpler time and soothes us with a familiar, comforting behavior. Unconsciously, some do it to excess, in hopes of staying in the emotional comfort zone.

Then the reality of our overspending hits.

Prudence and budget were thrown out the window as we spend unconsciously to soothe our emotions. Then comes the feeling of overwhelming shame and buyer’s remorse.

On top of that, we may feel a moral dilemma around putting other people at risk of the COVID-19 virus as they package and deliver the nonessentials that we bought. Despite the very unlikely possibility of the newly arrived nonessential package infecting someone in the home, the complications of the emotions and morality create an unnerving reality.

How to deal with the moral and emotional dilemma of overspending.

  • Understand your habits. Physical, mental, and financial health are deeply intertwined.
  • Review your numbers. Create some fun money so you can spend comfortably to satisfy that need.
  • Be realistic about the virus. Follow the CDC-directed guidelines and remember this pandemic is still growing.
  • Focus on your and your family’s safety. There will be plenty of time for shopping later in the year.
  • Don’t expect to forgo non-essential shopping completely. In times of crisis and uncertainty people cope with their concerns through comforting behaviors, this is typical behavior and if done with restraint it will support your emotional needs rather than complicate your inner peace.

Filed Under: financial stress, Financial Therapy, financial wellness, money and emotion, resources

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DR. ALEX MELKUMIAN, PSYD, LMFT

Dr. Alex Melkumian

Dr. Melkumian is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and founder of the Financial Psychology Center in Los Angeles. As a pioneering financial psychologist, he helps clients improve both their financial and mental health by uncovering the emotions, beliefs, and behaviors that shape their relationship with money. Dr. Alex is a sought-after media expert and has been featured in Forbes, CNBC, and the Wall Street Journal.

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  • Navigating Financial Independence with a Balanced Earning Mindset
  • What to know about ‘money dysmorphia’
  • The Psychological Trick Scammers Rely on and How to Protect Yourself
  • My Parents Have a Lot of Stuff in Their House. I Don’t Want Most of It.
  • Your unconscious beliefs about money have a significant impact on your behaviors.
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