{"id":1990,"date":"2022-10-10T06:10:26","date_gmt":"2022-10-10T06:10:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/?p=1990"},"modified":"2024-03-01T02:30:14","modified_gmt":"2024-03-01T02:30:14","slug":"millennial-money-learn-dont-run-from-your-inner-critic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/millennial-money-learn-dont-run-from-your-inner-critic\/","title":{"rendered":"Millennial Money: Learn \u2014 don\u2019t run \u2014 from your inner critic"},"content":{"rendered":"

Journalist\u2019s name: Laura McMullen<\/p>\n

Publication: Nerdwallet<\/p>\n

I can be so mean to myself. My inner critic roasts my actions like a political attack ad, with claims that are cruel, overstated and often inaccurate. My ad would assert that I\u2019m stupid with money, bad at decision-making and a crybaby to boot\u2014all endorsed by yours truly.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not the only one talking trash about myself. Most people face negative self-talk at some point, and it comes up often in the practice of New York City-based financial therapist Aja Evans. Even financial therapists serve themselves harsh burns. \u201cMy inner monologue is brutal,\u201d Evans says.<\/p>\n

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Personal finance is a prime topic for inner critics to judge, as it can be emotionally loaded and involve major decisions. Learn how to identify this voice and reframe its message.<\/p>\n

Why You Should Acknowledge This Voice<\/h2>\n

Internal criticisms can be limiting when they become self-fulfilling prophecies, says Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based financial therapist and author of \u201cThe Financial Anxiety Solution.\u201d For example, why try to reel in your shopping if you\u2019ve already labeled yourself as an over spender?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Or say your inner voice insists you\u2019ll never understand investing. That statement could queue the following negative thought loop, Bryan-Podvin says: Because you already assume you can\u2019t grasp investing, maybe you\u2019re intimidated by the idea of opening a retirement account. So you don\u2019t set one up or learn to do so. Then, well, you don\u2019t have retirement savings or pick up any knowledge about investing. So you continue feeling like you\u2019ll never understand it.<\/p>\n

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This kind of spiral reinforces the initial unhelpful claim, Bryan-Podvin says.<\/p>\n

How to Identify Unhelpful Self-Criticism<\/h2>\n

To address overly critical thinking, you must first recognize it. The fancy term for these thoughts is \u201ccognitive distortions.\u201d In a Harvard Medical School article<\/a>, Dr. Peter Grinspoon describes them as \u201cinternal mental filters or biases that increase our misery, fuel our anxiety and make us feel bad about ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Or consider this simpler definition of a cognitive distortion, from Bryan-Podvin: \u201can unhelpful or untruthful thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Look for clues to identify cognitive distortions. According to the Harvard article, those could include labeling, like calling yourself a bad saver, and fortune-telling, like insisting you won\u2019t ever make much money. Watch for absolute terms, too, such as \u201calways\u201d and \u201cnever,\u201d Bryan-Podvin says.<\/p>\n

What to Do With Your Inner Critic<\/h2>\n

When it comes to quieting these criticisms\u2014or changing any behavior\u2014Evans says that \u201cbuilding awareness and tracking matters.\u201d That\u2019s why people log calories to eat healthier foods, for example, and track spending to save money.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Similarly, Evans says that acknowledging unfair claims is key to wrangling them. Perhaps in the moment, you simply say, \u201cThere\u2019s my inner monologue again, being too harsh,\u201d she suggests.<\/p>\n

If noting your cognitive distortion in the moment is too hard, she says it\u2019s fine to write or talk about your feelings later.<\/p>\n

One way to do so is by scheduling recurring \u201cworry sessions,\u201d says Alex Melkumian, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of the Financial Psychology Center in Los Angeles. Dedicate those times to reflect on the financial challenges worrying you and how you tend to judge yourself about them.<\/p>\n

Or attach this reflecting time to an existing habit, like your daily walk, Bryan-Podvin says. Another route: Identify when that inner voice tends to yell the loudest and get ahead of it, she says. For example, if checking your spending always stresses you out, \u201cmaybe five minutes before you log in to that budget app, you spend some time lovingly challenging that inner critic,\u201d she suggests.<\/p>\n

Whether you silently note your feelings, jot them down or speak them aloud to yourself or a friend, Evans says, \u201cthe key is to be brutally honest with yourself.\u201d Examine what your voice says and how you typically react, as well as these criticisms\u2019 impact on your life, she says.<\/p>\n

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Then brainstorm activities that typically get you \u201cback to a more neutral place\u201d when you\u2019re overwhelmed, she says. Perhaps jogging outside, calling a buddy or scrolling through dog photos tends to make you feel better. Aim to tap those coping mechanisms the next time your inner monologue gets the best of you.<\/p>\n

Ways to Learn From Your Inner Critic<\/h2>\n

\u201cThe goal is not to get rid of the inner critic completely,\u201d Melkumian says, adding that doing so would likely be exhausting\u2014and fruitless.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Try to contain, rather than eliminate, the voice, Melkumian says. Think of your mind as a house and the critic as your roommate. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t have to be sitting right next to us, talking in our ear,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

And like a rent-paying, dish-washing roommate, your inner critic can have value. Recognize its overly harsh claims, and ideally you could learn from them. \u201cAsk which part of what the inner critic is saying is true,\u201d Melkumian says.<\/p>\n

Take the investing example. Assuming you\u2019ll never understand investing is extreme, but maybe the topic does confuse you. Use that bit of truth as a prompt to learn about investing in a beginner-friendly way.<\/p>\n

By acknowledging and examining these unfair claims, they can become more helpful and less hurtful. \u201cAs soon as we start paying attention,\u201d Melkumian says, \u201cwe start getting some of our power back.\u201d<\/p>\n

By Laura McMullen of NerdWallet<\/em><\/div>\n
The Epoch Times Copyright \u00a9 2022 The views and opinions expressed are those of the authors. They are meant for general informational purposes only and should not be construed or interpreted as a recommendation or solicitation. The Epoch Times does not provide investment, tax, legal, financial planning, estate planning, or any other personal finance advice. The Epoch Times holds no liability for the accuracy or timeliness of the information\u00a0provided.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Journalist\u2019s name: Laura McMullen Publication: Nerdwallet I can be so mean to myself. My inner critic roasts my actions like a political attack ad, with claims that are cruel, overstated and often inaccurate. My ad would assert that I\u2019m stupid with money, bad at decision-making and a crybaby to boot\u2014all endorsed by yours truly. I\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1991,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1990","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-media","8":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/man-looking-in-mirror-700x420-1.webp","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1990"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1990\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2056,"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1990\/revisions\/2056"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/financialpsychologycenter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}