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Financial Independence: Investing in yourself

Marissa Pasquariello

“Financial independence occurs when you’ve saved enough to support your current spending habits for the rest of your life without the need to earn more money.” – JD Roth, one of the original personal finance bloggers. This may be true for some and different for others, but why is financial independence so important? The “how” and the “why” behind wanting to achieve financial independence varies from person to person. By being financially independent, not only have you gained greater financial security, but you also reduce stressors revolving around your finances and are able to work and live on your own terms (i.e. you have a good grasp of your own emotions surrounding money). Thinking long-term curates a mindset of accumulating wealth to achieve financial independence. Our paychecks do not directly translate to our wealth. In other words, our income does not define our wealth. There are a variety of factors that allow one to accumulate wealth including: seeking a promotion, ensuring job security, diversifying income sources and seeking private investments, to name a few. However, accumulating wealth should not be synonymous with damaging yourself emotionally. When investments and financial plans overtake your daily routine, that is when you know it is time to re-evaluate your relationship with money.

Investing is a great way to make your money work for you. Similarly, it is a way to gain control of your financial security and grow your wealth to generate an additional stream of income. To get good returns, it is common to invest in a savings account, liquid funds, land, gold, and even artwork. Additionally, investing in the financial market is also a common occurrence for all ages, starting with high school or college students, to retired elders. While it may have a sophisticated ring to it, it can be psychologically damaging to continue a certain lifestyle that fits the “ideal” investor stereotype. Overconfidence, when investors are excessively self-assured about their decisions, can be one of the causes of a poor lifestyle surrounding money where no decision is being doubted or questioned solely due to the fact that a confident individual has made the choice. On the other end of the spectrum, fear of losing money may override any kind of rational thinking. Prioritizing financial gain over emotional, physical, or cognitive health can be dangerous and may lead to establishing many unhealthy habits surrounding money that would lead in the opposite direction of financial independence.

Although investing to increase your wealth is important for financial independence, as discussed above, it is just as important to invest in yourself. It is easy to invest “externally”, gaining tangible returns; however, investing “internally” can be just as beneficial.

Just like investing “extenterally”, investing “internally” can manifest in a variety of forms. By investing in yourself, you are developing a mature mindset and preparing for an unknown future. Once it is understood that lifelong learning is needed to grow, adapt to become accustomed to potential new seasons in your life, you will be amazed at the strides you make financially and within yourself. By developing a growth mindset, you rid yourself of the fear of failure. This is because you know that valuable lessons will be made in the process and may better prepare you for circumstances down the line. Not only will this leave you better equipped to handle conflicts in your relationships, but also in the workforce and in day-to-day life.

Our financial decision making is influenced by cognitive processes. Research in behavioural finances demonstrates that the decisions we make dictate individual investors’ wealth. However, the psychology that generates the observed patterns of saving, trading and investing behaviour remains unclear. Investing into your wellbeing now can reap long-term benefits. For example, by investing in better habits, you may increase your 1. health (allowing for a fuller life) 2. enhance your sleeping habits (impacting your cognitive health and energy levels) 3. change your attitude and outlook (increase your mood and better relationships) 4. adapt your mindset (spending time being creative, learning a new language) 5. make time for others (volunteering, enhancing relationships). Most importantly, you have a better understanding of your own emotions, which is where financial behaviours stem from.

Similarly, investing in your future can slip into the category of internal investing. Working toward your education and career can be considered investing. Although education does not guarantee wages or wealth, it forms connections, betters oneself and makes one better equipped to face obstacles. The realization that one’s self worth carries more value than any aspect of financial worth can be learned from experience but also through education and gained knowledge. From a student perspective, you may be financially independent by supporting yourself. You do not need to be a billionaire to understand what it means to be financially independent. It acts as a cycle: if you cannot invest “internally”, and manage your emotions surrounding money, it becomes extremely difficult to understand or apply investments outside of yourself. Those investments translate into quantitative and qualitative aspects that you may use as assets in the future.

Overall, external investing is simply not enough to reach full financial independence. Independence is not just about having enough money to sustain yourself or make ends meet. Likewise, great finances do not ensure happiness or fulfillment. Investing is not inherently evil but without care and by only looking for external investments, it can become emotionally taxing.

Investing “internally” is just as important as investing eternally. Some ways to invest in yourself include:

– Keeping money and self-worth separate
– Have an emergency plan
– Learn to accept your emotions before questioning your judgements

Therefore, there must be a balance of both external and internal investments. In other words, investing in both your finances and yourself, will lead you to the point of financial independence without money becoming a burden in the process.

Burns, S. (2020, May 6). 5 reasons you need to invest in yourself as much as your business. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/stephanieburns/2020/05/06/5-reasons-you-need-to-invest-in-yourself-as-much-as-your-business/?sh=3c2449814a3b.
Chen, S. (2021, January 7). Achieving financial independence at any age. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/stephenchen/2019/02/11/achieving-financial-independence-at-any-age/?sh=188a14565a62.
Frydman, C., & Camerer, C. F. (2016, August 5). The psychology and neuroscience of financial decision making. Trends in Cognitive Sciences. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661316300997.
Gardner, C. (2020, June 4). Top benefits of financial independence: United Advisers. RSS. https://www.unitedadvisersgroup.com/benefits-of-financial-independence/.
Kennon, J. (2021, June 3). Understand wealth and become financially independent. The Balance. https://www.thebalance.com/achieve-financial-independence-358175.
Shimkus, D. (2019, August 8). How investing in yourself today will set you up for career Success Tomorrow. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrenshimkus/2019/08/07/how-investing-in-yourself-today-will-set-you-up-for-career-success-tomorrow/?sh=2f6f74ea71b3.

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Cultural Impacts on Your Money Story

Bio:

Dr. Melkumian is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and founder of Financial Psychology Center in Los Angeles, California.

He is devoted to helping clients improve their financial and mental health by uncovering patterns in their relationship with money that keep them stuck and suffering.

Specifically, he has worked with athletes to improve their financial wellness and overall performance. Financial psychology is the intersection of financial literacy, emotional awareness, financial beliefs and cultural factors.

Dr. Melkumian focuses on uncovering the truth of our personal financial story and helps peoples to discard outdated stories and create new stories based on their wishes.

Highlights:

How does our culture impact our money stories?
Putting space between our stimulus (financial emotions) and responses
Hear about the impacts growing up in the Soviet Union and then immigrating to the USA had on Dr. Melkumian’s money story
The impact family values have on our money stories
The influence our cultural norms and beliefs have on our financial decisions
The lasting impacts of financial shame and guilt
How hope around your finances may be creating irrational expectations
What are common financial triggers?

Quote:

“Money can be a conduit for anything we’re emotionally filled with. If we’re full of fear and anxiety, it’s going to [show] in our behaviour and our decision-making with Money.” Dr. Melkumian
Links:

Dr. Melkumian’s website CLICK HERE
Dr. Melkumian’s blog: CLICK HERE

Books:

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

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Our Mindset & Money

My guest, Dr. Alex Melkumian, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and founder of Financial Psychology Center in Los Angeles, California. He is devoted to helping clients improve their financial and mental health by uncovering patterns in their relationship with money that keep them stuck and suffering. He provide clients with practical and therapeutic tools to help heal their financial anxiety and address maladaptive behaviors rooted in financial fear.

In this episode, we discuss why financial psychology is the intersection of financial literacy, emotional awareness, financial beliefs and cultural factors to better understand how those factors interplay with our emotional and financial health.

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Episode 121: Are You Committing Financial Infidelity

Are You Committing Financial Infidelity? with Drs. Megan McCoy and Alex Melkumian
Finances are the #1 reason why people divorce, including hiding money, hoarding money, spending money without your spouse knowing it, and the inability to consistently earn money. Financial Infidelity is the betrayal of your relationship with money to your spouse. With this episode you can turn your relationship with money into a positive experience that can be shared with your current or next spouse.

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Is Your Partner Cheating on You with Money? (Financial Infidelity)

Financial infidelity is a money problem that can range from little white lies about finances to secretly investing or spending large sums of money without your partner’s knowledge. In this episode, Dr. Alex Melkumian, a financial therapist and owner of Financial Psychology Center, joins me to discuss the reasons a partner may be financially unfaithful, how to heal and grow after financial infidelity is discovered, and how to prevent this from happening in your relationship.

Show Notes:
Alex Melkumain, Psy.D., LMFT bio
Confessions of a Financial Therapist
Financial Therapy Association

By

Psychology of Money, How to stop chasing status and start building wealth

Understanding how our financial personalities play a part in our relationships with Dr. Alex Melkumian

Conversation can be empowering and solutions based while also can provide anxiety and shame. As we continue over the next two weeks we are going to focus on how to build out health conversations with the people that are important in your life.

When we talk about wealth and our financial lives it is critical that we build healthy communication. We can add strategy, build wealth, and if one person in a partnership or family has more control absent of communication than that creates an unhealthy situation.

What is your financial currency? No I don’t mean the actual dollar bills, I’m actually talking about your personality and how you relate to money.

Family Centered – your drive for financial decisions is rooting in caring for and providing for you family (however defined by you) now and in the future, even after you have passed away.

Independent – you see you financial picture as one that only you can control and separate from advice or instruction of others.

Delegator– the opposite of the Independent, you push off the responsibility to a point of wanting no responsibility and rely on others in your life including a partners or a financial advisor to make all the decisions for you regarding your financial picture.

Incognito – privacy is of the utmost importance to you. You want no one to know your financial picture, carrying everything close to the vest.

Competitor – checking out what everyone else has defines where you want to be at minimum. You would prefer to have a better “this of that”. You find yourself comparing to what other’s might have.

Prestige – think the VIP treatment, you know that you are important and have the expectation that you have the best of the best and usually before anyone else might have the opportunity.

Acquisitioner – finding yourself counting on a regular basis what you have and ensuring that it is safe and protected. You worry more than the other’s because you don’t want to lose you prefer to be able to always see everything you have.

Risk-Taker – that need for speed or adrenaline rush is exactly what you are looking for with your money. You could care less about the downside you are focused on the potential upside and convinced that you will always have a WIN.

Trendsetter – just like skinny jeans are out (well not for me at least) and Zumbas were once cool…you like to have what everyone is talking about. You are the first one to discover the “new” thing and jump on board.

When building a strong foundation of communication, most likely the other individuals that you are partnering with whether your partner, future partner, or a family member has a different financial personality that stems from their previous financial stories that they have been told. So how do you bring those two perhaps very different personalities together? Why does it make a difference?

Here is the deal, I am going to take a moment to specifically chat with those of you who identify as female. Historically women live longer than men. At one point or another women will manage their financial lives solo – by choice, through change in marriage – divorce, or death of a partner or family member that passes wealth along. Taking charge and building a plan of understanding your financial life is necessary for you to be on the right track to ensure that you don’t have a lot of financial surprises but strategy to make sure can live the lifestyle you want and that your wealth outlasts you and not the opposite.

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What is your story?

Which one of the above financial personalities above do you find yourself leaning toward? Where do you think this spins from? What are the stories you tell yourself around wealth? How about the experiences or the stories others have told you?

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What is their story?

The person you are trying to build communication with most frequently is a partner that you spend life with. I will also insert that I have many conversations with clients who are now transitioning into the caregiver role for a family member, hold tight we will drill into these conversations next week! With your partner, what is their personality and story? They may have a different one than you, let’s try to bring the two together.

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Bring it together

Two separate communication styles need to start with a common respect built. Understanding the sources of your experiences and how you make decisions. Setting a foundation through deciding who has strengths in which area. No one person in the partnership can feel secure in the planning if they are left in the dark. Establish together which area each of you can focus on.

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Establishing Regular

Progress Points

After you have establish a standard of where each of you are coming from and who has a passion or strength in the various areas of your financial lives, then it’s making sure that you are checking in. What are the pieces of life that are important to you? How are you feeling like you are in progress towards achieving or living in those important part of life? What parts are still challenging, if any? What advice or resources might you need to seek? Set a regular time frame at least once a month to review these item