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Financial therapy: What it is and how it can help you

There are plenty of reasons to feel worried about money right now. A financial therapist can help.

As the COVID-19 crisis has wreaked havoc on healthcare, education and the economy, it has also taken a toll on our psychological and emotional well-being. Millions of people have lost their jobs and are filing for unemployment. More than 5 million people in the US have been infected, and many of them are facing an onslaught of medical bills. If you’re worried about money right now, you’re not alone.

But financial anxiety isn’t exclusive to the ranks of the unemployed. It can just as easily plague people who have enough money at the moment but are worried about the future. And regardless of where you fall on the socio-economic spectrum, money can be difficult to talk about — even in a regular therapy session.

“Financial trauma has unfortunately become a reality for some who’ve experienced extreme financial hardship,” says Alex Melkumian, founder of Financial Psychology Center. “In times of the pandemic, the overall level of financial stress and worry has risen exponentially and has negatively impacted the financial wellness and mental health of so many.”

Financial concerns can ripple into all areas of your life. After all, money isn’t always just about money; it can be a surrogate for stress, anxiety and trauma, too. That anxiety can manifest through fears about end of life and mortality — running out of money in retirement or during an emergency, for example.

There’s a type of counseling specifically for money-related anxiety: financial therapy. Read on to see if it might be a good fit for you.

What is financial therapy?

According to the Financial Therapy Association, this form of counseling can help people change the way they think and feel about money — and, most importantly, change negative behaviors. It gets right to the heart of your financial attitudes.

Melkumian says financial therapy can help those who need to dig deeper into why they can’t stop living paycheck to paycheck or keep getting deeper into debt.

“If you make the same financial mistakes and can’t seem to figure out why, if money is a major source of conflict with your significant other, [or] if your financial situation is creating turmoil in your life and causing extreme emotions,” financial therapy may help you, Melkumian says.

Different people have different needs, he says, but financial therapy can help develop a detailed financial plan.

“One of the most common tasks addressed in financial therapy is setting up and implementing a spending plan,” Melkumian says. “A client can implement a comprehensive spending plan in a span of three months. For clients who struggle with extreme financial stress, worry and trauma, addressing those issues may take longer to process.”

What does a financial therapist do?

Financial therapist Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, author of The Financial Anxiety Solution, says there are a few important distinctions between a financial therapist and a traditional therapist.

“Many therapists have a specialty in other tough areas such as trauma, sex, abuse, gambling, addiction and/or neglect — but very few specialize in money,” she says. “Money can absolutely be brought up in a regular therapy session. However, most therapists do not have additional training on the psychology of money.”

And, of course, a conventional financial advisor helps you manage your money — not manage your feelings and emotions about money. “You cannot call yourself a therapist if your background is in finance,” says Bryan-Podvin. “You can say you have financial therapy training, but to call yourself a therapist, you must have at least a Master’s degree in Counseling, Social Work, or Psychology.”

While Bryan-Podvin has a Master’s degree in social work, the Financial Therapy Association requires a financial or mental health background for those seeking to become a Certified Financial Therapist. General therapists might recommend seeing a financial therapist if they don’t have the extended knowledge, training and expertise surrounding the psychology of money.

Where can you find a financial therapist?

You can find a financial therapist on the Financial Therapy Association’s database. Melkumian, who is also an FTA board member, says there are approximately 350 financial therapists in the US. The cost of a session varies by provider and location.

Many financial therapists, including Bryan-Podvin and Melkumian, currently offer remote service. If you don’t have a financial therapist near you, you may be able to set up a virtual session.

There may be less expensive alternatives, too. Many banks, credit card issuers and other financial institutions offer some form of education or counseling. Capital One offers free money coaching. You may not get the same level of counseling as you would from a financial therapist, but it may help you begin to address some of your issues with money.

And you don’t need to wait until you’ve gone through financial trauma before getting into financial therapy. Melkumian says you can look into financial therapy before issues start.

“Why wait to see a financial therapist until you are broke?” he asks. “You can save yourself from the pain and suffering by starting now.”

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Tips From Counselors on How to Manage Financial Stress During a Crisis

More than 3 million Americans filed for unemployment during a single week in March External link  as the spread of the novel coronavirus (SARS-CoV-2, which causes the disease COVID-19) forced businesses to shutter and people to stay home. Job loss, reduced work hours and financial insecurity caused by the pandemic are exacerbating stress that already stems from money.

“Whether people have a lot of money or people have no money, money is a really stressful thing in our lives,” said Maureen Kelley, a Denver-based financial therapist and founder of MADRE (Money, Assets and Durable Relationships). External link  “This crisis we’re working [with], dealing with and living with now, it just accentuated it. And the fear and the panic around this is exponential.”

Effects of Financial Stress

Financial, physical, mental and emotional health are all intertwined.

“We can’t just assume that it’s only financial stress,” said Alex Melkumian, Psy.D., LMFT, founder of the Financial Psychology Center External link  in Los Angeles. “It’s also psychological stress, emotional stress [and] the stress that compounds our concern about our physical well-being.”

Fear and panic associated with stress can trigger the fight, flight or freeze response. Melkumian explained that we react to stress because our emotional brain, or limbic system, can take over and cloud our ability to make rational decisions.

Financial, physical, mental and emotional health are all intertwined.

“And that’s when you see the really negative response to the stress, which can be overthinking, a lot of anxiety, worry, sadness and despair,” he said.

Studies have shown that financial stress can lead to a range of physical and psychological complications. Depression, anxiety and poor work performance are among the possible psychological effects of financial stress (PDF, 254 KB). External link  The physical health complications of financial stress External link  can include cardiovascular disease, increased mortality, inflammation, hypertension, diabetes and digestion problems.

Long-term financial stress can also negatively affect immune response.

“When we’re stressed—chronically stressed—that stress response takes away from our immune system functioning,” Melkumian said. “We’re actually reducing our ability to cope with the virus.”

Tips for Managing Financial Stress in a Crisis

Kelley has seen an uptick in fear and panic among her clients. And although she believes the economy will bounce back, the lingering question for many people is when that will happen.

“There’s a lot of uncertainty with this,” she said. “People are losing their jobs, their hours are cut, retirement portfolios have been decimated. These fears are very real for us as a country.”

Rather than becoming paralyzed by fear and making irrational decisions, Kelly says that it’s important to learn how to manage fear, stress and anxiety.

“Look at the small things that are in your control right now around spending and know that this will pass,” she said.

OnlineCounselingPrograms.com asked a number of experts in the realm of financial counseling and coaching for tips on how to manage financial stress during crises.

1. Practice mindfulness

Become more aware of how you are feeling and identify the root of those feelings in order to move away from a panicked state.

Financial coach Jenn Steliga External link  explained that it’s important to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

“The more we push our feelings away or ignore them, research actually shows that they grow and get out of control,” she said. “Then, we’re in a position where our emotions are controlling us.”

Simple mindfulness practices can help ease anxiety. Steliga said that if you notice you are feeling anxious, stop and ask yourself something simple.

“Sounds very silly,” she said, “but if you can say, ‘Where are my feet?’ you bring focus to something.”

Melkumian also suggested making time for short, incremental meditation sessions for a few minutes throughout the day to alleviate the buildup of stress.

2. Talk about money

“Money is still the last taboo in our culture,” Kelley said. “Nobody likes to talk about it. It’s uncomfortable. People don’t know how to talk about it.”

Money can be difficult to discuss because it is often surrounded by feelings of shame, guilt and embarrassment. Those feelings can be heightened in a crisis. Kelley encouraged people to find a safe space to talk about money with a friend, family member, financial advisor or therapist.

“Often when you’re just able to verbalize it or share it with someone else, that in itself relieves a lot of stress,” Kelley said.

3. Make a financial plan

Free budgeting apps can help families create and track budgets

“A budget is not just tracking their expenses,” Steliga said. “It’s spending every dollar on paper on purpose, before they ever hand it out to anyone at all.”

For those facing true financial hardship, it’s best to prioritize spending on basic needs including housing, utilities, food and transportation. Kelley suggested cutting down on nonessential spending and “really looking at what are the things that I can control in my spending and what are the things that are not essential that I can cut out.”

When it comes to shopping, shop intentionally, Steliga added. Take stock of products you have in your house; then, make a shopping list and stick to it.

4. Don’t focus on getting out of debt during a crisis

After meeting your basic needs, including bills and legal obligations, make your minimum payments on loans and credit lines but don’t worry about paying off debt.

“A lot of people would say, ‘Hurry up and get out of debt,’ which is a really big misconception,” said Wendy Wright, LMFT, a financial therapist External link  based in Denver. She encourages clients to build savings while paying down debt.

It can be tempting to take on more debt when money is tight during a crisis, but try to minimize new debt. Don’t let short-term panic dictate long-term financial decisions.

5. Save money when you can

Wright suggested tracking how much money is required to meet basic obligations and then putting extra funds in a savings account for a set period of time. She encouraged using a timeline of three months and revisiting the situation after that time has passed. Having a set window to focus on saving can help reduce anxiety.

“Our brains like a beginning and an end,” Wright said.

Tips for Managing Financial Stress Combined With Other Anxiety

Financial stress from the coronavirus outbreak can compound general stress surrounding the pandemic. It can also exacerbate pre-existing mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression.

The following strategies can help mitigate financial stress when paired with other mental health concerns in a crisis.

Set a specific schedule

Creating and maintaining a schedule can provide structure for people who are home-schooling or caring for their children while dealing with struggles like job loss and financial insecurity. Schedules set boundaries and can help people avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge-watching television, drinking too much or online shopping.

“Within that schedule, give yourself very specific time to job search and to get yourself on a budget,” Steliga said. “Be very specific.”

Rather than committing to looking for jobs without a real plan in place, Steliga suggested telling yourself, “I will job search for 30 minutes tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. at my kitchen table with my coffee while my kids are doing homework.”

Practice basic self-care

Eat well, exercise, and try to avoid round-the-clock binge-watching. Avoid heavy social media use and excessive news consumption.

“Do the things that bring you into a good place so that you can continue to make good choices,” Steliga said.

Treat yourself with compassion and practice gratitude

People are being asked to make important decisions while dealing with fatigue. Wright said that “pacing yourself, building a routine [and] sticking to your routine as much as possible” can help create a sense of steadiness during uncertain times. That can also include maintaining previously established mental health interventions.

She also said that it’s important to remember everybody is doing the best they can.

Recognize and address grief and worry

Crises can bring a heavy sense of loss. Identifying the stage of grief that you’re experiencing (denial, anger, bargaining, depression or acceptance) can help you build connections with others. People experience grief at different rates, so naming which stage you are in can allow you relate to people in different stages.

Melkumian also encouraged “scheduled worry sessions”—actually set aside 5 to 10 minutes during the day where you allow yourself to worry. The paradoxical intervention helps contain anxiety.

“You get your worries out for 10 minutes, but then the rest of the day you’re worry-free,” he said.

Although worrisome thoughts may still arise throughout the day, it’s up to you to guard your own mental well-being and protect yourself from those automatic thoughts, Melkumian said.

Lean on support systems

Staying connected in times of crisis is vital.

Seek financial advice from people who are grounded. Look for support from friends, family members and counselors who are financially stable. And if you are unable to see your regular counselor, look into telehealth options.

Additional Resources for Managing Stress Related to COVID-19

These resources can help alleviate financial and other stress-related to the coronavirus outbreak.

Financial Resources

Mental Health Resources

This article is for informational purposes only. Reach out to a financial professional before making any important financial decisions. If you are experiencing mental health issues related to financial concerns, consult a mental health professional.

Are you interested in supporting people through mental and emotional challenges? Learn more about how to become a counselor.

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Working Through the Big Emotions of Financial Upheaval

If your finances make you anxious, you’re not alone. Before anyone had ever heard of COVID-19, 60% of Americans were stressed out by money, according to the American Psychological Association. None of us are untouched by uncertainty about what lies ahead, and that can cause unexpected emotions.

“Entering into this crisis, most of us already had anxiety and stress around money,” says Brad Klontz, PsyD, CFP, a financial psychologist and managing principal at Your Mental Wealth Advisors and associate professor at Creighton University. “Then you throw the virus on top of it. You’re worried about your financial situation, and you’re also worried about people you love getting sick.”

It’s normal to need time to come to terms with layoffs, business closures, investment losses, or other financial upheaval due to COVID-19. And it’s OK to be upset about the situation, says Patricia Tidwell, PhD, a licensed clinical social worker. “It’s incredibly stressful,” she says. “I’d be worried about people if they weren’t upset.”

But there are many ways to move through the financial stress, anger, and sadness to a place of action. By recognizing your emotions, you can use them to drive your effort to take as much control of your financial situation as possible. Financial and mental health experts share insights on how to get started.

Identify Your Emotions

“We all have feelings and beliefs about money: earning money, having money, losing money,” says Tidwell. “Anger, grief, anxiety, and sadness are all feelings that are healthy, albeit uncomfortable, to have about what is happening now.”

Alex Melkumian, PsyD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of the Financial Psychology Center, adds fear, worry, and avoidance to the list. He says that financial stress from the pandemic can force people into survival mode. “Being in survival mode activates the fight, flight, or freeze response,” he says. “Considering the sudden onset of the pandemic, many people are in the freeze cycle. They feel paralyzed or are overthinking what to do next.”

The first step to working through these emotions is recognizing them and understanding that they are normal, Tidwell says. By taking a moment to identify what you’re feeling, you’ll be able to more easily find ways to work toward solutions.

“The sooner you can get to acceptance, as difficult as it may seem, everything else will be easier,” says Melkumian. “It’s a mental pivot that will disengage the emotional part of your brain, which is not helpful in moments like these.”

Recognize What’s Out of Your Control

Unlike other, more personal financial upheavals, remember that many of the economic forces of COVID-19 are completely out of your control. Your state or local government may have told you that you can’t go to work or need to work altered hours. And it’s necessary for people to stay away from businesses in order to stop the spread of the virus. If these circumstances have altered your financial situation, it’s important to recognize that it’s not your fault, says Klontz.

“The good news is you don’t need to feel ashamed about it,” he says. “You’re also not alone.”

By recognizing this, you can avoid “personalizing the pandemic,” says Melkumian. Keeping an eye on the big picture can protect you from some of the negative emotions that are often associated with financial trouble, such as shame and guilt.

Find Healthy Ways to Manage Money

Once you’ve identified your emotions, it’s important to find mindful ways to manage them, says Tidwell. She suggests a physical exercise for a serotonin boost and meditation for reducing anxiety.

“Putting feelings into words also helps reduce the experience of feeling overwhelmed,” she says. “Talking to others helps you feel less alone. It can be helpful to learn that others are in similar situations with similar feelings.” Consider talking to a therapist or other mental health professional for more personalized methods for handling your emotions, she says. If you’re employed, check if your company offers free counseling through your health benefits or an employee assistance program.

If you still feel paralyzed by fear and anxiety, Klontz suggests confronting it head-on by thinking through any worst-case scenarios. What if you lose your job? Maybe that means you wouldn’t be able to pay your mortgage, and would eventually have to move in with your parents. Though it’s difficult to think about, letting this hypothetical play out can actually calm your body’s “life or death” reaction, by demonstrating that even in the very worst-case scenario, you will likely still be physically safe, Klontz says.

Fight Regret with Action

With so much uncertainty ahead, it can be easy to fall into regret about the past. Why didn’t you start that emergency fund earlier? Why did you take that vacation last year, when you could have saved that money? While it’s natural to wonder about the what-ifs, it’s important to remember that dwelling on the past will do nothing to improve your current situation, says Tidwell.

“Regret is about mourning a lost opportunity, and is often filled with shame,” she says. “It can take over, making it harder to do what will help now.”

Instead of letting your regret balloon into shame, which can keep you stuck, use any missed opportunities as lessons for the future, helping you chart a path forward, Klontz says.

“Did you have an emergency fund?” he asks. “Probably not. That makes you the average American. But now you see why you need one. This is a perfect opportunity for you to look at your spending habits.”

Take Control of What You Can

Being stuck at home may actually give you the time to start sorting out your finances in a way you haven’t been able to before. Maybe you can create a pandemic-specific budget, or place some monthly subscriptions on pause and use those savings to start a rainy day fund. This type of action might be exactly what you need to ease your financial worries, says Tidwell. “Taking stock and making plans can reduce anxiety and help you feel more in control,” she says.

“Become conscious of your spending, looking for ways to minimize expenses that are unnecessary,” Klontz suggests. “Interest rates are really low, so maybe now is the time to refinance your mortgage. There are opportunities right now for people.”

He also suggests researching some of the federal relief programs to see what type of assistance you may qualify for, especially if you’re a small business owner. And to keep yourself motivated, remember that, eventually, the COVID-19 pandemic will be in the past.

“Picture yourself when this is all over,” Klontz says. “How do you wish you would have gone through it, including your mindset, attitude, and behavior? Try to be that person now, because eventually this will be over.”

Note to our readers: This information is being made available as a free resource to the public. It is not an endorsement of any of the Finance-Related Resources listed in this article — financial consultants, planners, services, organizations/associations, websites, tools, lenders, credit unions, or banks. None of the finance-related resources listed have solicited Rally Health to be included, and Rally Health receives no compensation from the Finance-Related Resources mentioned in this article.

KATE ROCKWOOD

Rally Health

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Financial Stress and Your Immune System

How financial stress makes you susceptible to viruses and what to do about it.

On your average day, most of us endure a certain amount of financial stress. With the coronavirus pandemic threatening millions and millions of jobs globally, financial stress has shot through the roof. The biggest problem, particularly now, is that any kind of stress creates wear and tear on several systems in our bodies, including our immune system. Managing and reducing your stress levels is crucial if we come into closer contact with the coronavirus. As with any virus, the COVID19 respiratory virus requires a healthy immune system to have a chance at surviving it.

Understanding Stress.

We mostly think of stress as a psychological issue where we are overthinking, worrying, irritable, restless or overwhelmed. However, these mental strains affect the body as well as we experience tense muscles, racing heart, fatigue, insomnia, and lack of appetite. If you are worried about job security, paying bills or your retirement, the psychological stress creates a physical reaction. It channels energy and resources towards your nervous system to help restore your mental equilibrium.

Mental stress leaves your immune system vulnerable and unable to function optimally.

The human body operates on the principle of efficiency, only using what it needs and prioritizing what it considers to be most important. Under normal circumstances, one of the body’s primary focuses is maintaining the immune system as it is the body’s first line of defense against biological threats like germs, bacteria, and viruses. But in times of crisis, your body will go into survival mode and start limiting the allocation of resources. It will direct a lot of energy to your brain to solve the stress associated with financial challenges bombarding it. Your body is naturally resilient. By controlling your stress, you will allow it to focus on what is most important right now: your immune system.

What to do to reduce stress and strengthen your immune system.

  • Worry Sessions
    Speak to a trusted, positive friend about your financial concerns or even have a self-chat and play both the negative and positive stories. Keep it short. Set a timer. Ten minutes is enough. Vent your worries without overreacting or overindulging. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t wallow in the negative ones.
  • Stay Aware
    Be mindful throughout the day. Stay aware of your inner dialogue the rest of the day as financial fear may still arise. Set them aside until your next worry session.
  • Breathing (mind/body)
    During the day if you feel anxiety creeping up on you, practice deep breathing. Supplying oxygen to the brain is one of the best ways to reduce stress. It stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) and the amygdala (emotional part of the brain) to induce immediate calmness.
  • Exercise
    No need to run a marathon. And, right now you can’t go to the gym. But you can go for walks in safe areas or set up a spot in your home, connect with an online workout or yoga class. It is important to feel present in your body.
  • Connection
    In the era of “social distancing”, we MUST also remember that connecting with other human beings, especially in a time of crisis, is crucial to our ability to remain calm and build stamina for the fight ahead. Reach out on the phone, video chat or speak with someone already in your home. Get the support you need and offer support to others. This helps us to get out of our own head and fear.
  • Calm your nerves, boost your immune system.
    From essential oils, herbal teas and organic supplements there are countless items on the market today that offer holistic support to your physiology. Research online, ask friends or consult with a nutritionist or medical professional to find the best support for your system’s needs.

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Fight. Flight. Freeze. How are you Responding to the Coronavirus?

Quick Check-In on how your brain is processing the COVID-19 Pandemic

If you are like most Americans, you were already experiencing chronic stress around your finances according to the Stress in America survey done by the American Psychological Association. The current state of emergency due to the novel coronavirus pandemic has affected a tremendous amount of people raising the overall stress levels to unprecedented proportions.

Not all stress is bad. In simple terms it can be viewed as our response to a threat. It urges us to move away from danger and stay safe. However, our brains are interpretation machines and how they perceive the threat of the COVID-19 pandemic to our health and our financial stability will determine the level of our stress response.

A stress response is both psychological and physiological, it affects both our mind and body. Chronic and acute stress triggers our survival mode which activates the fight, flight or freeze response. The first two are appropriate responses during hard times. It’s a call-to-action by our brains. The freeze response is the most detrimental as it makes you “dead in the water” and unable to adapt and change to your new circumstances.

ACTION:

Take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you in fight, flight or freeze right now?

REACTION:

Fight. The fight response may provide you with a bit of an edge and get you into action. The Coronavirus pandemic has halted so much of our lives so it’s easy to feel powerless, but you are not helpless. Stay focused since too much edge / anger can quickly become detrimental You’re in it for the long haul. You know it’s going to take time. However, when channeled properly fight response can lead to (positive) confrontation and clarity of what’s next.

Flight. Stay present. Your brain is telling you that you are in danger of COVID-19 and financial doom. It wants to flee. While there may be some truth to the feeling of danger it is completely disproportionate to your reality. Use mindfulness and grounding to get clear on what is triggering your stress response. 1-minute meditations, deep breathing, mindful exercise can all bring you back into the moment. In the present you are likely healthy, with a roof over your head and food in the cupboard. The future is uncertain but accepting that sooner rather than later will help you enter fight mode so you can care for yourself, your family and your community.

Freeze. You must get unstuck. To do so you may need to engage in something completely counterintuitive. Action! Having too much time on our hands due to the pandemic can be retriggering the same freeze response over and over. Start a new workout routine, learn to play an instrument, even reading a book can help you thaw out. By using our bodies to get into action we get our brains to unfreeze

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Financial Stress in the Time of the Coronavirus

With the President announcing a nationwide state of emergency, there is no doubt that the novel coronavirus (COVID-19) is having a major impact on our country. Schools, events and businesses have closed across the country, impacting millions of people where they feel it the most, their wallets.

While more and more Americans are living in fear over catching or carrying the virus, millions also are adding financial stress as a leading anxiety as they are losing work, paid gigs, or require childcare. While health is, of course, the primary concern, it is also crucial that the additional financial stress is recognized and addressed.

The government is working on ways to alleviate the financial burden that will be experienced by millions of Americans due to the Corona Virus, however, there are key actions individuals do for themselves to help deal with their financial anxiety.

  1. Acceptance

Acknowledge what you are feeling and move on. The sooner you can get into acceptance, as difficult as it may seem, will make everything else easier. Accepting that we live in a new reality will help you start taking the steps to help yourself. It is a mental pivot that will disengage the emotional part of your brain, which is not helpful in moments like these. Your limbic brain, which is your emotional processing center, is sending out stress alarms to the rest of your mind and body most likely causing a fight, flight or freeze reaction. This is our primal caveman response to stress and keeps us stuck and suffering in anxiety. Acceptance helps you externalize the problem, which allows you to discover the relevant part of your fear. Once you accept the state of the world, you will be able to clearly see how it affects you and by focusing on those items, you will be able to make plans and decisions.

  1. Be Present

Our regrets live in the past, our fears and worries live in the future. In times of high stress staying present in the here and now is the antidote to the ruminating thoughts and negative emotions that are driving the fear. Use mindfulness to scan your body for stress and tension in the moments you are feeling it. This will help you to realize that you are physically safe, and it will help block out the outside chatter that is often amplifying fear, insecurity, and anxiety. Staying present will also provide the mental edge to help yourself and your loved ones when the opportunity presents itself.

  1. Spiritual Solution

When times are tough, turning to a spiritual answer can help provide context and give meaning to your struggle. The context of a higher purpose can right-size your current worries. Human beings make meaning of everything we encounter and this current situation with the Coronavirus is no different. This is a time of struggle for everyone. Struggle can often be unmotivating and depressing, but if you seek an uplifting spiritual solution you will find uplifting and even inspiring moments despite the seeming chaos of our current world.

“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.” ― Randy Armstrong